Being in a relationship can be hard. Being in a relationship with a baby is hard.
The best advice/words of wisdom that I’ve gotten so far about managing your love life and your baby is this:
You could be the perfect couple. Each other’s soul mates who have been together for years. Or you could be just starting out your relationship, not knowing if it’s going to work. Whatever your circumstances are, raising a child together is hard. It’s hard on every couple. Don’t think otherwise.
That’s held true for my circumstances. Some days are hard. I don’t want anyone to think differently.
Our lives are portrayed a lot differently than they actually are when it comes to social media. You see the perfect picture of the happy couple with the smiling baby thinking, “Wow, it really seems as if they have it all together, such a perfect family!” When in reality? The mom is probably down-right tired from lack of sleep and dealing with a crying baby all day, the dad is stressed from working 7-4 all week, and the baby… well, the baby’s just content with a bottle and some snuggles. Because that’s the family’s main priority, baby. Keeping the baby happy.
And that is what happened this weekend, our relationship was tested. The same way it’s tested everyday. I won’t go into details of mine and Sam’s disagreement but I will tell you I learned that I need to be more appreciative of my Sam.
Sam is someone I sincerely never want to lose. And it isn’t simply because we have a baby together, it’s because he’s always stuck by my side. I’m not kidding when I say that he’s seen it all, the good, the bad and the ugly.
…and oh my goodness, can it get ugly.
We rarely agree on anything and we’re both very stubborn. But one thing that I am, and he is not, is sensitive. And sensitive and stubborn aren’t a good mixture. I’ll stand my ground and argue my point until I’m hurt, hurt that the other person can’t see where I’m coming from. And like any other person, I don’t always handle my emotions well. In other words, I’m a crier. Like I’ve said in other posts, an ugly Kim Kardashian crier. That’s the ugly he’s seen.
The bad? The bad gets… well… bad. Our arguments can go from zero to one million in the matter of a millisecond. He’ll scold me for something and I’ll automatically pout or start an argument back. Or we’ll disagree on the littlest chore we have to do and a fight will arise, usually causing the chore we were fighting about in the first place to not get done. Sometimes the fight will be resolved in the matter of minutes while other times we have to have a discussion about our actions that lasts hours on end.
But the good… My gosh, the good is just ughhHhhHhHhhHh good. Ya know what I mean?
He makes me laugh. He makes me laugh so much. Especially if he knows that I’ve been having a bad day. He never refrains from trying to cheer me up. And he’s the one person that can cheer me up in the matter of minutes, the person that can crack a smile on my face no matter what’s going through my head. He gets me out of my head. I’m an introvert, I’m constantly in my thoughts. But him? He gets me out of that shell, brings out the goofiness in me. I never have to be scared that he’s judging me for anything that I say or do because he’s just as crazy weird as I am. And I think that’s so important, so important to have someone that you can just be you with. Someone that see’s the ugly, know’s all of the bad in you, but despite all of it only holds you accountable for the good. Loves you no matter what baggage you show them.
All those little things, those qualities he has and contributes to our relationship, they’re what make it so good. And appreciating them? That’s what keeps our relationship going. It isn’t easy having a baby with someone and it sure isn’t easy making a relationship withstand all the struggles you’ll face. But it’s possible if you allow it to be. And I’m making it my goal to be a prime example of that.