Let's Get Personal

How Becoming a Mother Changed Me

I wasn’t always self-conscience. I’m not going to go too into detail about what’s happened that’s caused me to be so hard on myself but all you need to know is that every time I’ve been taken for granted, it’s caused my view of myself to get lower and lower. I’m not someone who hold’s people’s wrongs against them. When someone hurts me, I think, “Why would they do that? What’s so wrong with me that they’d want to do that?” From fights with friends to being played by guys to not meeting my own expectations, my self-love has only gone down-hill.

And let me tell you, out of all the qualities I dislike about myself, that’s the one I hate the most. I hate that I’m so hard on myself. I hate that I look in the mirror and critique every detail about myself. And I mean every detail… my smile. My body. My hair. How I do my makeup. My outfits. Just how I am and who I am.

And as you may have noticed, I’m writing all of this in present tense because, yes, there are still many times where I am hard on myself. But! (Here’s the big but you’ve been waiting for) For the majority of those times that I do see myself in the mirror, I’m much more self-accepting than before I was a mother. I don’t have as much spare time as other’s my age do. Going to the gym is a luxury, eating healthy is expensive, and fully focusing on myself all of the time isn’t what I necessarily want to do. I’m a mom. I want to be with Finley. I know that I’m never going to get these special moments with him back and that makes me want to make the most of them even more. I also know that this body I critique so harshly… it has made life. Sure, I have stretch marks on my tummy, I’m not in the best of shape as I used to be, and half the time I walk around unshowered with no make up on. But I have a little baby boy who couldn’t care less about what I look like. A little baby boy who not only wants but needs me, who loves me no matter if there is makeup on my face or not.

I haven’t fully given up though on working on myself, I’m just much more understanding when I don’t make it to the gym or I have to eat an unhealthy snack because I’m on the go. I think that’s the key after you have a baby – understanding and accepting that life isn’t going to simply be about you. You’re always going to have someone you care about more, someone you’d do anything and everything for. And that’s okay with me. I know when the time comes I will put in much more effort for myself. But right now? I’m understanding and accepting… and defintely practicing my own self-love.

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “How Becoming a Mother Changed Me

    1. Right! I’m rocking eye bags almost everyday but I don’t even mind. Spending time with my little man is so worth it. You have to make the most of these special moments while you can!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Well said. So true that you have to accept yourself and that life can’t be about you all the time anymore when you are caring for others as a mom.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely. The focus of your life becomes your little one! While it can be difficult at times, it’s beyond worth it. How many little ones do you have?

      Like

    1. It definitely is hard changing your perspective of who you are. But it’s so funny because all of the negative things you see in yourself.. your children see the exact opposite. Best. Feeling. Ever.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s amazing how having children really changes things. You’re too worried about making sure they have everything they need, that you start to realize that those things that bothered you so much before just aren’t as important anymore! Priorities def. change!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I couldn’t say it better myself, Sarah! Even though your priorities are so different and there is less time focused on yourself – it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It takes the negativity out of your life. 😊

      Like

  3. I can’t understand how some mother’s have so much time to get all dolled up and look so good with a toddler running around or a baby. I can’t and if I ever can it’s very rare. Dealing with a 2 year old and a infant is definitely a challenge, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in life. Being able to love and care for something so precious. Your children grow so fast you always look back at where did the time go? But all those millions of pictures you take of them everyday just brings back so much love of the day they were born, there first trip to the zoo, there first birthday, and so on. Motherhood definitely is not always beautiful but it is totally worth it. Once you have that little one your insecurities are still there but you care so much more about your child then them, you can always push those in the back of your mind and remind your self the beautiful child you made. BTW Kayla I love your blogs, they are great stories!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Everything you said was SO spot on, Savanna! I’m sure it’s very difficult with an infant and toddler but as far as I’m concerned, you’re kicking parenting’s butt. It makes me so happy to hear that other mother’s my age are reading and getting something out of my blog. I appreciate the support very much ❤️

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s