I might be a little bit late to the game here but recently, around the blogosphere, there’s been a trend going around. Mothers have been giving the ten top reasons as to why they’re rocking motherhood… and I say top reasons because, let’s be real, there are so many more than ten! There are many, many mama’s out there kicking parenthood in the butt!
And since I’ve been a teensy, weensy too critical on myself lately I thought I would give it a shot. I’m hoping to uplift the mama inside of me and give her a little more self confidence!
So, here goes nothing.
O N E : To be honest, I’m writing this blog post as my little Finley is sleeping on my tummy. He woke up extremely early this morning, he’s going through a sleep regression and it’s caused me to be a bit more deprived than usual. But, I’m still making it a priority to make time for myself, do actitivies that make me happy (aka writing blogs for you to read!).
We all know that self-care is so important when you’re a parent and I truly do not want to fall behind with that. I know that the better I take care of myself and do things that make me happy, the better parent I’ll be.
T W O : I’ve recently started working part-time as a nanny. I’ll usually work one day a week but the day is a 13 hour shift. It’s extremely hard for me to be away from Finley for that long. That’s why no matter how drained I am after my long day at work, I always make it a priority to be the person who feeds him before bed and rocks him to sleep. That’s one important point I want to make to him: time is always made for those who matter.
Growing up, for myself, I didn’t pay attention to the parent who bought me the most toys, let me have the most sweets. It was all about who showed up, who made the effort for me. And for Finley, I will always be there.
T H R E E : I’ve written a post before about how important appreciating the little things in other people is. The same goes for motherhood. #RockingMotherhood for me involves getting a shower in everyday while Finley’s asleep, getting the dishes done after dinner, or even getting the chance to buy groceries is a huge win!
I’m very grateful that I’m still able to find the time to take care of all the little things that need to be done around our home, for my family and also for myself.
F O U R : Not being able to breastfeed Finley definitely took a toll on me. I felt as if I wasn’t a good enough mother, I couldn’t provide for my son in the way that other mothers could. I had gotten infection after infection, my ducts kept clogging, Finley wouldn’t latch right, and after a while of trying, my supply decreased and I wasn’t able to pump enough.
I still get upset at times when I think about how it all went down, especially because I had the expectations of breastfeeding with no issues. But I have to remind myself that I tried my absolute hardest to make it work for him. He’ll always have someone who tries. And for other mothers out there who did their best but couldn’t make it work, what matters most is that your baby is still being fed, they’re healthy, and most importantly, happy.
F I V E : While I’m still able to compare my life to mother’s who are older than me, sometimes I feel as if the struggles that I face are different. When I was pregnant, I had to find a full-time job to not only save up some money but pay for the expenses of living on my own. Being pregnant + working full-time + going to school part-time = one stressed out mama! Within the first week of classes, I withdrew myself.
It was definitely one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I was incredibly determined to stay in school but I was completely exhausted after work everyday, it was nearly impossible to get any homework done and I didn’t want my GPA to be effected.
Now that I’m working part-time and I’m mostly a SAHM, I’m excited to announce that I am already enrolled for classes this coming fall! I want Finley to grow up watching his mother conquer any obstacle that comes in her way… I want him to know that anything is possible with hard work and determination.
S I X : Sam and I aren’t sure if Finley’s teething or going through a growth spurt but whatever it is, he’s been very clingy towards me lately. He has a hard time napping anywhere else but my arms. Whenever I try and lay him down, he instantly wakes up. So, in order for me to get some things done around the house and for myself, I put a recently worn t-shirt of mine next to him as I lay him down. He smells my scent and instantly falls back asleep as I lay it next to him. It’s a little trick that I’d definitely recommend to other mommy’s!
S E V E N : With the days that I am working, I’m always in need of a little extra help from myself.
In order to prepare for my early morning, knowing Finley will wake in the middle of the night, I always have my lunch made for the day, my coffee ready to brew, and the house picked up for our nannies. I shower the night before and have my outfit ready! And I do my best to make sure I go to sleep early. I hate being too tired after work, I want to make sure I still have some energy so I’m able to spend time with Finn when I get home.
E I G H T : I’ve been practicing a lot more self-love. Before I was pregnant, I had such a negative outlook on myself and my body. I constantly thought that I could be better.
While it’s good to want to improve yourself and work towards your goals, degrading and putting yourself down is not.
I’ve been much more patient with myself, eating that bowl of ice-cream, saying it’s okay if I don’t get one work-out in, and loving how I look no matter what I see in the mirror.
I want Finley, and any other children I have, to know what self-love is. Accepting themselves and loving the skin they’re in is beyond important to me. I know just how hard it is to be so critical of oneself and I wouldn’t ever want them to go through that.
N I N E : I’ve been doing all that I can to make sure Sam know’s he’s appreciated when it comes to Finley.
The other night (before I had to work the next day) Sam woke up to feed Finley his bottle. Usually after he eats, he falls right back asleep and doesn’t wake up until morning. But this particular night, Sam couldn’t get him back to sleep. After I had listened to him cry for a while, I finally got out of bed and extended a helping hand. After five minutes or so, Finn was asleep in my arms and ready to be laid back in bed. I knew Sam felt bad about himself, not being able to soothe his own son back to sleep was a bit of a downer for him, which made me feel bad! I explained to him that it wasn’t anything he did, sometimes babies just want their mamas. Plus, Finley’s used to me waking up in the middle of the night. It’s a change for him. I also let him know that his efforts in helping me get a good night sleep were SO appreciated.
I want Finley to grow up seeing two parents who appreciate and support one another. Like they always say, behind every good child is good parents. Setting a good example will be beneficial to both us and him!
T E N : I’ve been trying my hardest to be as frugal as possible! I’m extremely big into couponing, using apps to save money, as well as make the most of deals. Whether it’s groceries, baby clothing, formula, or diapers, I want to get the best price! And my reasoning behind it is, yes, it’s great to save your money but more importantly, I always think about Finley’s future.
I didn’t grow up in a family with a lot of money and I believe that’s shaped me a lot. I want to be able to give Finley the life he deserves but I also want him to know that hard work is what gets you places, not handouts. Being financially stable is incredibly essential for me and Finley’s my motivation for keeping a frugal mindset.