Let's Get Personal

How Growing Up With Divorced Parents Changes How You Parent

There is no denying that growing up with divorced parents is hard. But, before I go into my parenting style, I do want to make a point that this is not a slam against single parents. Even though my parents were divorced throughout my entire life, I still view them in the brightest of lights. They co-parented as best as they could, they stepped up as both mom and dad when it was needed, and they tried. That’s all a child can ask for, effort.

So to all you single parents, keep up the great work of being a mother AND a father, you are truly an incredible parent.

And even though my life may take a different course someday, it is inevitable to know the future, I know I do not want my children to grow up with parents who are not together.

As great as my parents were, and are, I feel as if I missed out. I wasn’t able to see both my mom and dad everyday, I wasn’t able to enjoy outings as a family, going on vacations together, having both parents making an appearance at sporting and academic events. I was consistently going back and forth between houses, communicating between the two, and missing the other parent while away.

As for the children who grew up seeing their parent’s apparent love for one another, I envy you. But, I also feel as if I have a bigger drive for making my (future) marriage work. As a parent, I want to give my little ones everything that I did not have.

I want them to wake up to two parents who love one another, two parents simply enjoying one another’s company over breakfast.

Two parents who show their love, setting a high bar for their children, never wanting them to settle for less than they deserve.

Two parents who spend quality time one on one and with their family.

Two parents who set the example that hard work and dedication makes a relationship go a long way.

Two parents who do not try and find something new when something becomes broken but two parents who put in the effort to fix it.

I want my children to grow up with a put together family, not a broken home.

I wouldn’t say there’s a pressure on my shoulders to make my future marriage work, you never want to feel pressure in such a delicate, important aspect of your life.

But I feel dedication. I feel as if it’s the most important thing on my agenda besides my baby. Because as parents, all we want is to give our children what they deserve… and this is what I want to give mine.

 

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14 thoughts on “How Growing Up With Divorced Parents Changes How You Parent

  1. I feel this so much. ❤ I've never met my biological father so my mom was a single parent until I was 11. Then she and my step-dad's relationship turned out to be very abusive and dysfunctional. As a child it hurt to watch this, seeing my mom unhappy. I always told myself I'd never ever let this happen to me mainly for the sake of my own children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s how I’m feeling as well. The situation is a little bit different, but, as I grew up I saw how the divorce affected my mother. I knew I not only didn’t want that for myself, but for my children as well. I want them to have a great role model to look up to. Thanks for reading, xo!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I completely understand. My parents divorced when I was in elementary. It was hard knowing we weren’t a complete family and other kids shunned me for having a “broken” family. It’s tough for the kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, Jenn. It was hard for me as well knowing that the family was broken. And I’m so sorry that you were shunned for something beyond your control – that makes it all the more difficult. 🙁

      Like

  3. This is so relevant, especially in today’s world where there are so many split families. It makes me so sad though for my oldest daughter, whose bio-mom is not overly involved. I hate to see her suffer, but hope that it will shape her own idea’s on parenting when she becomes old enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? I feel as if divorced parents isn’t an uncommon thing anymore… makes me sad 😦 but definitely pushes me to make my own marriage workout in the future!

      Liked by 1 person

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