Advice · Let's Get Personal

A Happy You Makes a Happy Child

Do you ever just find yourself in a slump? There are so many activities that you love doing, and still do, but you’re feeling too guilty to do them?

That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Slumped. I love writing, I love sharing my thoughts and advice with others in order to help them out. But, well, I’m just slumped. I’m tired. Exhausted. Drained. Feeling stuck, stuck in the daily routines I’ve gotten used to.

More than that, I’m feeling guilty.

While I love my little Finn so, so, so, unbelievably much, I haven’t taken the time to simply be me in a long while. With Finn’s Dad being gone for two weeks, having to work, and be both Mommy and Daddy, I went into full parent mode and haven’t been able to get myself out of it.

I think that happens to a lot of parents. We become so used to putting our children first, we forget about ourselves.

We forget that it’s okay to take 5 minutes to enjoy our cup of coffee. It’s okay to buy that new pair of shoes we’ve been eyeing down for months. It’s okay to spoil ourselves with a few extra minutes at Target (or a few extra hours, am I right?). It’s okay to sit on the couch and simply r-e-l-a-x instead of cleaning up the dishes in the sink.

It’s okay to take time for you. That’s a lesson I’ve been telling myself over and over and over again these past few weeks.

Being a parent is our most important role, don’t get me wrong. But we all tend to forget that in order to be a good parent, we have to be mentally well.

It’s unrealistic to be the parent who’s constantly on duty.

That’s something I’ve been struggling with. From watching TV, and seeing others on social media, I feel as if the only way I can be a “good” parent is if it is the only role I take on.

I forget that the families seen on television are not real, and the persona individuals post on Facebook is often portrayed differently than what’s actually happening behind the scenes.

I’m guilty of it. You’re guilty of it. We all are.

None of us are perfect parents, none of us have perfect lives, none of us are perfect.

But that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect to raise a good child. You don’t have to be a full-time-mother-who-has-nothing-else-going-on-in-her-life-besides-her-children’s-well-being in order to raise a good child. You don’t have give up all of yourself in order to raise a good child.

It takes a village to raise a good child, it takes asking for help when it’s needed to raise a good child, it takes finding alone time and staying mentally well to raise a good child.

Don’t forget about you, a happy you will create a happy, good child.

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6 thoughts on “A Happy You Makes a Happy Child

    1. I can imagine with older children it’s a lot harder to find that time when they’re home in the summer. I hope you’ve been finding your me time! You definitely deserve it, mama 💗

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  1. I agree! When we are happy, we are nicer to our kids. I noticed I was pretty grumpy this am before breakfast. Once I had my coffee and eggs I was a much nicer person. It’s so important to take care of ourselves.

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    1. Yes – totally agree! The same thing goes for babies… if I’ve been putting him first constantly, and not taking a second to just breath, I notice that I get frustrated far easier when I can’t get him to sleep or he’s being colicky. That’s why I’ve been really focusing on myself, I know it’ll make me a much better mother. Thanks for reading!

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  2. I totally agree that as parents we need to “put our oxygen masks on first” so to speak. I am a much better Mama when I can think straight and I’ve taken the time to care for myself. Have you read Fringe Hours? It’s about that and I highly recommend it!

    Liked by 1 person

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